turning off the monitor isn't violence, but might be the motive for violence to break out

Step one : split

Step two : shoot him in the ass

haha i had this problem once i just went out and done my own thing without him eventually he followed

Other idea.

Edited by Rouslan - September/20/2008 at 2:24pm

Ultimatums only lead to resentment on one side or the other, to be perfectly honest.  If you say you aren't going to give him some pussy if he doesn't stop playing for a bit, you'll resent hm if he keeps playing.  If he plays a little longer than you want him to before coming to get his dose of sex and you're upset with how long he took, he'll resent you.  Nobody wins.

Promising sexual favors to get him off the computer is going to lead to more hurt for you than anything, because he's so emotionally wrapped up in the game he probably doesn't even hear you make those promises.  Gaming has its place, but there HAS to be balance when a relationship is in the picture.

The key, without a doubt, is communication.  But that communication MUST be both ways or it will never amount to anything.  The first step would be getting him away from the computer long enough to have a meaningful conversation where he isn't thinking about the game, but don't necessarily expect an immediate fix for everything.  I work with a woman whose fiancee was obsessed with Warcrack to the point that it almost destroyed their relationship.  It took her quite awhile after he moved in, to get him to understand that he was letting her mother his children on the weekends he had them, and he played all night and slept all day, leaving NO time to give them (or her) any attention.  He 'relapsed' a few times so the ultimate solution was that internet connectivity of any kind was turned off, along with the regular cable.  No more Warcrack, so he found another vice that he hid from her that again almost destroyed things once again.  He started hanging out with a guy on parole and wasn't supposed to be drinking at all (she has...issues with felons) and he was just nailed for felony DUI a few weeks ago after the last in several nights of heavy drinking with this guy.

The communication breakdown was both of their faults, but started when he chose the gaming obsession over personal interaction with tangible people you can actually look at more often than anything else.  Not to knock gaming at all (I love me some D2, Starcraft, DF:BHD, TFC, or C&C anything), but there definitely needs to be balance somewhere, somehow.  But striking that balance is all about...*drumroll*...communication.

You can see where the relationship is by refusing to come over if he's going to be anywhere near the computer, and simply leaving if he messes with it while you're around.  If you don't get a call wondering, or a "please don't leave", you know where the priorities lie and you can make your decision about where things should go.  If he's choosing the virtual over the real world and you only want to dabble there, you deserve more and should cut your ties and find someone else who sees things on the same level as you do.

You can't force him to change, but you can tell him how you feel and let him make the choice himself.  It's tough to strike that balance, so aside from trying to talk to him openly and refusing to be around while he's gaming (unless you're both participating), you are at the mercy of his realization of a problem.