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 BodyMod.org Forum : General Chit-Chat : General Talk About Anything |
 Topic: Staring & its affects |
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Total Mods: 28 Joined: October/11/2004 Posts: 609 |
   Posted: March/08/2007 at 1:56pm |
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Interestingly enough, I have never considered this subject until I read your post.
I used to get stared at a lot, I realized it was because I was going out of my way to essentially say "if you're not going to like me based on my looks, let's get it over with." I toned it down and now people are more comfortable asking me questions based on their curiosity versus just staring. At the same time, New Mexico has pretty much seen it all and from what I've heard you say about Malta, it's generally less than accepting when it comes to mods... period. If you want to dye your hair, go for it. This is a fairly fresh relationship, right? I can see how the stares might be a bit overwhelming for him. Perhaps a different hair color (superficial as it may be) might be just the thing to ease him into everything. At the same time, I'm going to tell you what my piercer told me the day I got my eyebrows pierced. He had mentioned that I'd probably wake up the next day with two black eyes and I felt the need to whine "but I've got a date tomorrow!" My piercer replied "Hey, if he's in it for the long run, he's going to have to accept that this is an aspect of who you are." |
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 Total Mods: 22 Joined: December/30/2005 Location: United States Posts: 356 |
Posted: March/08/2007 at 2:07pm |
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way to be... I've been trying my hardest to act this way and have always liked doing it, I work at a health food store that is'nt filled with people like me working there, I have some visible tats and well my conch and lobes are always visible, I've gotten a wide array of nasty looks to 80 year old women asking me some of the coolest questions about my ears and they never once asked them in a shitty manner, I think it would go a very long way for the modded community if we stopped giving back the shitty looks and asshole comments and walked around smiling and saying hi to everyone, I'm not saying I do this constantly and sometimes it is difficult being nice to someone who is a total asshole and has no respect or care for diversity but I've noticed the friendlier I am with people the less they give a shit if I have dreads (cut em off again) or if I have large amounts of tissue missing from my face or if my hair is colored like a fucking rainbow. |
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 Total Mods: 12 Joined: March/01/2007 Posts: 239 |
Posted: March/08/2007 at 4:07pm |
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i think that alot of the time the stares are out of curosity. who among us isn't guilty of that. how many hours a week do we spend looking at what other people do to their body's or our body's. the key for me here is to remain open minded and nice to people. there so much judgemental bullshit in regular culture that alot of us find our way into an alternative.. then we turn on ourslves and others by pulling the same shit by being overly judgemental of someones personal tastes in art.who can blame us, it's what we are conditioned to from birth by society. i am by no way exempt fron this category but i enjoy watching my own ignorance, we're all fucking human right ?well let's enjoy it and be nice for a change.even to people that are rude.
I LOVE your homemade tattoo that looks like shit( READ THIS) in my opinion. I think it's absolutley great. you know why? because you express yourself with it. it's my opinion,who cares what my opinion is do you like your tattoo or genital bisection or whatever it is that you do to your body?
it's not who you are but a representation of something that you enjoy. I'm glad you are enjoying life through and with art.
the funny thing is that all of humanity is doing it. we the modded just choose to do it so that it is visible to the world or choose to keep it invisible to the world and go undercover in a disguise.
it's in the heart people not on your sleeve.
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Total Mods: 15 Joined: February/17/2007 Posts: 22 |
Posted: March/08/2007 at 6:03pm |
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honestly, i know what your talking about. but i'm finally happy with myself the way i look, i couldnt do anything differant because everything i do is just me. the world doesnt really effect desicions any and i wouldnt change for any man that couldnt deal with the stares. for love you should be willing to go through that bullshit. if it was going to end because he couldnt handle it, in my opinion, he ain't got what i want in a man. and to tell the truth i've had more relationships end over guys finding out that i dont just look and dress like a freak, i dont put on any show to piss off the "normal", i'm really a freak, im definatly a lot weirder than i look once you get to know me.
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 Total Mods: 16 Joined: March/31/2006 Location: United States Posts: 1066 |
Posted: March/08/2007 at 6:38pm |
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I used to get stares when my hair was purple & when it was pink, but I don't really care. If someone doesn't like it they can fuck off. But, if it's going to hurt your relationship you'll just have to decide if you truly think it's worth it. personally my boyfriend is the only person who I truly care what he thinks of me. If he asked me to change my hair color, I honestly would. Edited by witchy_kitty - March/08/2007 at 11:43pm |
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 Total Mods: 9 Joined: June/06/2006 Location: United States Posts: 374 |
Posted: March/08/2007 at 6:44pm |
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I got a lot of stares when I got my scarification done, and it was still open, but about 1/4 of the time people would walk up and start talking to me about it, which is more than fine with me. The more people know...
Changing your hair color, jewelry, mods as a whole, well, that's your call. If you want to dye it a "natural" color, or pink and green with neon orange stripes, go for it. It's your body, and it's something that's easily changeable, so whatever you think's best. It's not like you're a traitor for dyeing your hair a different color. |
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Total Mods: 12 Joined: January/03/2006 Location: United States Posts: 270 |
Posted: March/08/2007 at 9:26pm |
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I stare when im curious about something, or if i think its cool. Its a bad habbit but you have to think when your being stared at the person might just be curious or interested in something, not necisarily offended by it
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 Total Mods: 41 Joined: October/22/2006 Location: United States Posts: 560 |
Posted: March/08/2007 at 9:27pm |
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At present I have a small social circle and don't go out much. The only big mod that shows right now is my ears. Most people, when they see me, don't really stare; they usually say "ouch". To the few stares I do get, I just give 'em my big sweet southern gal grin, and that usually throws them off. Do what you feel you need to Metalbabe; it's your life and your decision.
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Total Mods: 16 Joined: May/07/2004 Posts: 599 |
Posted: March/09/2007 at 1:15am |
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sometimes i forget my appearance is not "normal", lol , and people will be staring at me and i'll get self conscience like my barn door is open and mr wiggles is poppin out for a little fresh air. then i'm like oh yeah they are just sheltered hahaha
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 Total Mods: 30 Joined: June/27/2006 Posts: 370 |
Posted: March/09/2007 at 2:59am |
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i will admit i can be very defensive while walking down the street with my boyfriend. he, on the other hand, accepts the catcalls and insults as "serves me right for walking down the street, mephy." however i've taken to calling the cops on the ones whose comments are too sexual or violent.
that said, i don't get as many stares or comments as i used to. and then some of the little kids are really cute about it, and it's good for everyone's mindset to be exposed to things they're not used to. people get desensitised after a while. it's just a matter of time. |
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