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wormbuffet
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Quote wormbuffet Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 2:51pm
My girlfriend is my best friend, if we ever broke up I could never imagine not having her in my life as my best friend.
three years of love and friendship is not something I would throw away just because our 'relationship status' happened to change.
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LucieMay
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Quote LucieMay Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 3:39pm
Originally posted by wormbuffet

My girlfriend is my best friend, if we ever broke up I could never imagine not having her in my life as my best friend.
three years of love and friendship is not something I would throw away just because our 'relationship status' happened to change.
It sounds very special and this topic is definitely something which is very much down to the individual situation.
 
A part of this for me is very much my situation and age. In my early 20s I was fairly commitment phobic and happy to mess around with male friends. But since the age of 25, I've raised my son alone and changed a lot as a person. Now I crave companionship and stability and someone to share my life with. I have great friends, both male and female, but I simply don't need or want more friendships in  my life. I want a partner to grow old with and share the frustrations and joys of domesticity, and to be a good step father and role model to my son. Another guy who rejected me and relegated me to the position of "friend" would only bring me more heart ache and sorrow. I could have a 1,000 new friends but they wouldn't bring me what I need from life, which is a special life-long companion. Friends have their own lives and own families. I want that too.
 
 
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thesounknown
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Quote thesounknown Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 3:46pm
Originally posted by wormbuffet

My girlfriend is my best friend, if we ever broke up I could never imagine not having her in my life as my best friend.
three years of love and friendship is not something I would throw away just because our 'relationship status' happened to change.


This is what happened when me and an ex of 5 years broke it off.  We just were too close to not be friends anymore.  Things are much much better that way.

I have the opposite problem of the original post though.  I want to try and be friends with my exs but they get all jealous and stuff when I've found someone new.  My problem is that I often want to see people as JUST friends when they often want to be more.  I don't know what it is about me.  I'm not amazingly attractive or interesting, but people seem to fall for me too easily.  My friend says its because I don't resist enough and I'm too nice.
She looks like the real thing.
She tastes like the real thing.
My fake plastic love.
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LucieMay
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Quote LucieMay Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 3:47pm
Originally posted by Zal VII


I guess the other issue is that at some point, one of us would start dating again and, whilst I'm not jealous in a relationship, I'm a complete fucker when it ends. I'm not a bad person, but I hate it when I'm miserable and they're happy; I hate being rejected.
 
Yep it's very very hard. Two of the male friends I referred to are single and still have troubled love lives which have made our friendships easier but the other one is now married with a kid. I am happy for him and am friends with his wife (she's lovely) but it's been extremely heart wrenching at times. When they married and had a child, I hid my pain well, but it was like my heart was breaking all over again.
 
Friendships shouldn't be that hard and that is why i couldn't attempt it with my most recent ex. To  make matters worse, a month after our friendship ended, he got engaged to the woman he'd dumped me for AND i work with him. It's just a nightmare all round. When they marry I know it will kill me. I'm just not strong enough to support him as a friend.
 
I am a very very emotionally intense person. When I don't like someone I let them know pretty quickly but when i do like them, I fall very hard and get very quickly attached. The rest of the time I'm extremely indepedent and strong willed. I'm a weird mix of traits really. I always just seem far too much for blokes to handle as a girlfriend but as a friend I'm generally seen as funny and laid back and someone to party with and get drunk with, hence my view that I'm not girlfriend material.
 
*sigh* I dunno, I'm sick of analysing myself.
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Zal VII
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Quote Zal VII Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 5:12pm
Originally posted by LucieMay

I am a very very emotionally intense person. When I don't like someone I let them know pretty quickly but when i do like them, I fall very hard and get very quickly attached. The rest of the time I'm extremely indepedent and strong willed. I'm a weird mix of traits really. I always just seem far too much for blokes to handle as a girlfriend but as a friend I'm generally seen as funny and laid back and someone to party with and get drunk with, hence my view that I'm not girlfriend material.
 
*sigh* I dunno, I'm sick of analysing myself.


Boil bunnies much? Big%20Grin

Nah, I'm just yankin' yer crank! The three guys you mention; are they fairly similar? It might just be the case that you aren't girlfriend material for that kind of fella.

I had a quick patch of brief flings and wondered why they never worked out, then one day it hit me that all the girls were pretty much the same......all three had Dad issues (actually family issues in general) and were into self harming. I didn't have the patience to deal with them; I know that sounds bad but I was young, time was precious and I just wanted fun. Explains why they were so easy to pick up though.
My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed, my Father, prepare to die!
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LucieMay
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Quote LucieMay Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 5:26pm
Originally posted by Zal VII

Originally posted by LucieMay

I am a very very emotionally intense person. When I don't like someone I let them know pretty quickly but when i do like them, I fall very hard and get very quickly attached. The rest of the time I'm extremely indepedent and strong willed. I'm a weird mix of traits really. I always just seem far too much for blokes to handle as a girlfriend but as a friend I'm generally seen as funny and laid back and someone to party with and get drunk with, hence my view that I'm not girlfriend material.
 
*sigh* I dunno, I'm sick of analysing myself.


Boil bunnies much? Big%20Grin

Nah, I'm just yankin' yer crank! The three guys you mention; are they fairly similar? It might just be the case that you aren't girlfriend material for that kind of fella.

I had a quick patch of brief flings and wondered why they never worked out, then one day it hit me that all the girls were pretty much the same......all three had Dad issues (actually family issues in general) and were into self harming. I didn't have the patience to deal with them; I know that sounds bad but I was young, time was precious and I just wanted fun. Explains why they were so easy to pick up though.
 
haha! i wish i was a bunny boiler= it would make more sense to me than all the guys who have ever rejected me wanting to stay in touch with me (and meaning it! i know some guys trot out the old "let's stay friends" as a dumping line, but these guys have actually meant it). it's far more confusing than them wanting rid of me completely.
 
and oh yeah i always fall for the complicated type of bloke who can never fully commit. my most recent ex has been jumping around between different women and cheating for all of his life. of the other three, one is verging on being an alcoholic and is a serial cheat. one is a commitment phobe and has been single for most of his life. the married one also cheated on every gf he had until he got his act together after his daughter was born. i can see that none of them would have been good for me but it would just have been nice for once if i could've been the one whose feelings changed rather than vice versa. it seems every guy i've ever loved has stopped loving me first.
 
i can see now in my life that i have rejected the straight forward guys that have been into me. i haven't done it on purpose but it's like i subconsciously desire the drama when i really really don't want it any more. i just want a normal relationship.
One is a serial cheat and alcoholic. Another has been single for longer than me and
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eatenplacenta
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Quote eatenplacenta Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 5:26pm
Originally posted by thesounknown

My problem is that I often want to see people as JUST friends when they often want to be more.  I don't know what it is about me.  I'm not amazingly attractive or interesting, but people seem to fall for me too easily.  My friend says its because I don't resist enough and I'm too nice.

yeah, i get that a lot too. like i said before the ones that fall for me seem to fall for me hard, and i've never had any interest in them like that at all, so it must have something to do with my personality. if i were single i imagine flings probably wouldn't go over well for me because of this factor. there are people i might like that i would never want to get seriously involved with as well, and if anything happened between us i'd fear i'd end up hurting them because they got too attached. if i never stumbled into the relationship i am now i probably would just stay single and be perfectly happy. i'm not interested in growing old with someone or having a family. i'm just not the type who needs someone.
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Quote LucieMay Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 5:29pm
Originally posted by eatenplacenta

Originally posted by thesounknown

My problem is that I often want to see people as JUST friends when they often want to be more.  I don't know what it is about me.  I'm not amazingly attractive or interesting, but people seem to fall for me too easily.  My friend says its because I don't resist enough and I'm too nice.

yeah, i get that a lot too. like i said before the ones that fall for me seem to fall for me hard, and i've never had any interest in them like that at all, so it must have something to do with my personality. if i were single i imagine flings probably wouldn't go over well for me because of this factor. there are people i might like that i would never want to get seriously involved with as well, and if anything happened between us i'd fear i'd end up hurting them because they got too attached. if i never stumbled into the relationship i am now i probably would just stay single and be perfectly happy. i'm not interested in growing old with someone or having a family. i'm just not the type who needs someone.
I would take it was a compliment to both of your personalities that people fall for you. Smile
 
I've spent the vast majority of  my adult life single and as such I'm very accustomed to it. I survive pretty well and don't need a bloke financially or practically, I'm very independent that way. However, I'm now at the stage where I would like that companionship and possibly more children in the future. I am close to my family and I love my son to bits but one day he will grow up and forge his own life and I just see my middle age stretching out before me in a very lonely way if I am still single. I know that's not logical, I'm only 30, but it's hard to shake that vibe at the mo.
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Zal VII
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Quote Zal VII Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 5:35pm
You chicks do seem to love a bad boy.


My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed, my Father, prepare to die!
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ZombiePhlegm
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Quote ZombiePhlegm Replybullet Posted: June/11/2010 at 8:27pm
well that's me outta the running then! I'm much too soft!

I need me a female that has a libido that matches mine and is also willing to be all lovey and cuddly... There's nothing quite like having rough sub/dom sex and then untieing them and cuddling for a few hours!

The Unbreakable!
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