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Boogieforme
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Quote Boogieforme Replybullet Topic: Sigh... Mothers in law...
    Posted: August/28/2009 at 11:43am
The title pretty much says it all.
 
My BF is a Chinese fellow, and naturally his parents also are.
They speak bad Dutch, even though they've been here a long time (30Y).
I've worked in their restaurant for 2,5 years now, but in the past 3 weeks
I have been on vacation under guidance of them, with my boyfriend and his brother. The point is, my bf's mother is such a pain in the ass.
She whines about everything, and says and does rediculous things all the time. The more I spend time with her, the more the anger grows inside.
I found myself having very bad tempers because of this.
 
I dearly want to give up the job at the restaurant as soon as possible.
However they have a lot of trouble finding new employees, so they probably don't want me gone.
 
2 things are bothering me:
 
- How on earth am I rationally gonna tell an Rtard who is also 'family', that I don't want to work in her restaurant anymore?
 
- I have trouble fitting into this family, they have very different standards, and I don't know what the hell they are talking about most of the time, because they're cantonese. How do I handle this? Inside I REALLY want to ignore them and never speak to them again, but obviously that's out of the question.
 
 
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linda
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Quote linda Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 12:21pm
Argh in-laws are a difficult question.
I am very lucky with my current ones, but my previous mother in law was terrible...

From my experience, there's not much you can do. If you love your boyfriend and think he's worth it, you'll just have to put up with them - can you talk to him about it and let him tell you how to handle her?

Try finding another job and tell them that it's not because you don't like their restaurant, but because the other job is a better challenge or something like that...

Sterkte meid!! :-)
I talk too much.
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freakychild
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Quote freakychild Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 12:21pm
that is quite the sticky situation you've gotten yourself into there my friend...

you could potentially try and explain to her that you'd like to leave your job with her because you don't think it's a good fit for you anymore.  that you feel everyone would be happier if you were to leave and keep your work and private life as far separated as possible.  you could say that you feel it's time for you to make a move and would like to do so.
make it seem like you're doing her a favor, rather than trying to just fucking get the hell out cause she's a crazy bitch...

as for the finding a new employee thing... i'd tell her that you'd stick around till they find one... that you're not gonna leave them without someone to replace you...   that's just good business sense, and if she cares about her business she'll respect you for that..


kill her with kindness...
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Boogieforme
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Quote Boogieforme Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 12:57pm
Originally posted by freakychild

 
that you're not gonna leave them without someone to replace you...  
 
The last time I tried to quit the job, I got off with working one day less, and they got replacement for that day only many months later.
I'm afraid it's gonna take a long long time before I can get outta there if I do that. And to be honest I don't see her doing much efford to find another employee as quick as possible. They've taken advantage of me before and their own childeren, workwise.
They have the chinese workworkwork moneymoney attitude. If you don't work, you're lazy, it's just crazy.
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Boogieforme
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Quote Boogieforme Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 1:00pm
Originally posted by linda

can you talk to him about it and let him tell you how to handle her?
 
Well, I've talked to him being annoyed by her many times, but he allways says she's allways been like that, and "there's nothing I can do but to ignore her, just like we all do".
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xevious
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Quote xevious Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 2:39pm
well, if it's not going to affect your relationship with him, quit. You're dating him, not her.

I have titties.
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Boogieforme
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Quote Boogieforme Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 2:52pm
I personally thought about telling her that she has 2 months to find someone new, so that it wouldn't be too harsh. But I don't quite know how to tell her, because I know she's gonna be annoying about it, and I just know that I'm gonna be angry when that happens.
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Kingshortpants
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Quote Kingshortpants Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 3:12pm
My parents are always accepting but for the most part my girls parents always hate me even though I'm a perfect gentlemen to them. Some people will always just be a pain in your ass for no reason if you tried and it didn't help say fuck it and be yourself.
Making dinosaur love sounds since 1843.
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sataninacaddy
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Quote sataninacaddy Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 4:34pm
welcome to marriage, no one fits into anothers family perfect, trust me, haha! I say either talk to them about the problem or tell them it's not working out and you need to work somewhere else.
Don't force your religion on others, inform them and let them choose!

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jignha
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Quote jignha Replybullet Posted: August/28/2009 at 5:50pm
Best bet is to find another job, and tell them that you're going to date their son but work someplace else.

Now if ya'll get married, that's something different.
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