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London Tattoo Convention: Day 3
I was jolted up this morning by Tim freaking out that he hadn’t drawn anything for his appointment today. He was supposed to draw up a sketch of a nekkid, sexy, bloody vampire. I asked him why he couldn’t just trace up a naked girl pic from his computer and just add some fangs. Problem solved. Mine, although, wasn’t. I was tired as hell, slightly hung-over, and I was supposed to meet Ryan at the convention in 30 minutes. I some how managed to put myself together by the Tim was ready and we left for the convention.

I met up with Ryan and we headed out. First stop, McDonalds for lunch. Again... it’s cheap, going to be tasty, and better than mushy peas. I informed Ryan that I had only been to London once before, and my touring abilities were severely lacking, but that I would do my best. Judging from the map of the area, the Tower Bridge was just down the street, and from there I knew how to get to Big Ben, the London Bridge, Wesminster Hall, and a few other places. I figured that would be a good place to start. I was also told by a couple people that the royal jewels were kept is the the Tower of London. Being the inept tourist that I was, I thought the Tower Bridge was the Tower of London. I mean, it was the tallest thing around, and it had the word “tower” in it. But, of course, I would be proven wrong. After climbing up to the top of the bridge towers (roughly 9 stories high), we found out that all that was up there was a view of the river, and some crap about David Blain. Lame. Time to hike back down.

Around the corner from the bridge through, was the castle... aka. Tower of London. Sonova.

We did a tour of the castle and got to see the royal jewels. There were diamonds the size of a small fist. Just ridiculous. After that, we headed into a special exhibit on the armors of Henry the 8th. I wasn’t even in the place five minutes before I hear in a very stern voice, “Sir, I’m sure you saw the signs that state there is no photography here.” Of course, I’m retarded and respond with, “Nope, I just see the tops of all these doorways. You Brits are some little people. Ha Ha.” 

I thought it was funny...

That statement got us a personal escort throughout the rest of the floor.

After the exhibit, I was ready to head back to the convention and get some food. At the food court thing, I tried a steak and potatoes pasty. It was easily the most tempting looking item available. Tasty? Meh... but filling, so it did the job.

At the end of the night, they began the grand finale of announcing the tattoo contest winners and handing out the awards. The amazingly sexy Sabina Kelley was handing out the awards. She’s a tall, blonde, pin-up style model that has some nice sleeves, but today she was wearing a full body latex outfit. Hot!

Now that the convention had come to a wraps, it was time for my favorite convention tradition, the final dinner! It was somewhere around 8pm and I had a flight leaving London for Berlin at 6am, so I needed to bring all my stuff with me. Tim and I headed back the Holiday Inn Express and I packed my backpack. From there we grabbed a taxi and met up with everyone else at the Tower Inn hotel. The view from the front of the place had an awesome view of the Tower Bridge. And it being night time, the bridge was all lit up. I tried to take a photo with my iPhone because my camera was locked up inside. Nothing like night photography with an iPhone.... hehe.

Back inside at the hotel restaurant, there was Tim Kern, Dan Marshall, Liorcifer, Jeremiah and Kari Barba, Benjamin Moss, Ethan Morgan, Renshi, Robert Hernandez, and a few other artists. By the time everyone showed up I think there were close to 20-25 of some of the worlds most amazing tattoo artists. To top it off I had the most delicious dinner of the entire weekend (Spinach linguini... more like linguini with spinach though). As an ad
.: Adam
Since 2003, Adam Callen has been the editor and publisher of, not the largest or oldest full-spectrum body modification publication on the planet, but pretty damn awesome =). Copyright © 2023 Adam Callen. Permission is granted to reprint this article in its entirety as long as credit is retained and usage is non-commercial. Requests to publish edited or shortened versions must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published October 1, 2009 in New York City, US.

I hope someone sees the humor in this =)
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