Day 1 and 2 (Thursday / Friday)

I woke up at 8 in the morning and headed to my clients office to try and get some work done before taking off to Europe for two weeks. I’ll leave out all the crazy levels of awesomeness that occur in my life while troubleshooting an identity management installation for a higher education institution (insert sarcasm here). Here’s the only real important part to take from this period of time:

I went to lunch. I had pizza. It was good. On the way back, I was in the elevator, and stared at the little news TV thing like a mindless drone while shooting up to cubical heaven. Then this came on:

“US strongly urges it’s citizens to avoid traveling to Germany unless absolutely necessary for the next coming weeks due to recent threat by Al Queada.”

Me - “Woah, sucks for people going to Germany... wait a minute. Shit!”

I used my recently acquired energy from pizza to haul ass to my desk and find out what the hell that thing was talking about. Turns out, the Prime Minister of Germany (who’s in Berlin) made fun of the dolt from Iran, and that pissed off Al Queada to release a video yesterday threatening to blow up Germany the day after their elections (read: the day I land in Berlin). Yay! Do I have all the luck or what? I totally Ell Oh Ell’d on that one. You see, I have this knack of going to places at the wrong time. Last year I had a ticket to Thailand (Bangkok), but Northwest cancelled my flight due to a government overthrow and the taking over of all the airports by hostile forces. Other coincidences: The day after I left Santiago, a massive earthquake hit Chile killing a bunch of people. A while after I left a resort near a volcano in Chile, it erupted. Went to Ushuaia near Antarctica and a cruise ship sank there the day before I arrived. I went to San Francisco last January, and was staying with my aunt in Oakland. The day I showed up, a cop shot a kid on the subway and a riot ensued right at the stop I needed to get off at. So maybe now you’ll see why I find this kind of stuff funny at this point.

Wanting to share the humor, I texted my girlfriend to tell her about the threat on Germany. Apparently she didn’t find it as humorous. But, it did get her to drive down and meet me for a drink after work, before I had to leave for the airport. So I guess that was a good thing =).

When I arrived at the airport, I checked in, printed my boarding pass, and headed through security.  Went pretty smoothly. No hassles so far. Next, things get... fun. I asked a Delta employee where the Crown Club was (the airport lounge where you get free drinks and a more relaxed place to wait for your flight). She said that it was outside of security. WTF? They’re never outside of security. Crap. Ok, so I turned around and walked all the way back out of security and asked someone where it was. They told me it was after security. Ok... hold on. I check with a guy that I’m sure has at least graduated from high school (aka. Non-TSA employee). He informs me that the Delta club is waaaaaay at the other end of the terminal. Crap. Well, I have around an hour and a half to kill, so I might as well head over there. 

In between me and the Delta club area is the Virgin Air club area. I can see right through the entrance to the clear doors on the other side that say exit which is right next to the doors of the area I need to get to. So, I try to walk through. “Sir!”, “What?” “Are you a Virgin Air club member?” “No, I’m just cutting through to go over there.” “Fuck you, walk the 100 yards and go all the way around because I’m a bitch and don’t want to left you walk 15 feet to the door.” “Slut.” (That was a little exaggerated)

I finally make it to the entrance of the club quarters and I present my ID, ticket, and card that lets me in, just to hear, “I’m sorry sir, but you can’t come in here. This isn’t a D